When I wrote before about my initial reaction to finding out I was pregnant with BB2, it was definitely a mixed bag of emotions. Regardless of if your pregnancy was planned or not, you can absolutely be happy, appreciative, excited and also all the other feelings at the same time. I often hear about or read comments from other moms who feel incredibly guilty that they experience anything other than total elation when expecting a baby. Well, a baby is a BIG life changing event. No matter if it’s your first or fifth, allow yourself to feel whatever comes up for you but don’t attach any negative connotation to yourself for feeling that way. We all process things differently and as time goes on your thoughts and attitudes will adjust too. Even if your first reaction was “oh shit” it doesn’t mean you don’t want or love your baby the same as anyone else!
Anyway, I have been feeling really sentimental about having to share more of my time with Porter. I grew up with two sisters and always wanted to have a bigger family so I never expected to feel this way. Honestly, I just can’t imagining my heart possibly getting any bigger to accommodate loving another human this much. It seems impossible, but I know it’s inevitable. Once BB2 comes we are going to learn to stretch and grow and love each other as a family of four. It won’t happen overnight, but I know I’ll look back on this post and probably find it silly I was ever concerned.
To mark this moment in time with Porter, I wanted to celebrate our bond with a mommy and me photo shoot. To be fair, I was never one for family photos but now I love them and really appreciate having them to look back on. I even cried when I went through these! Plus, there are only so many family selfies we can take and it’s so worth it to have a professional behind the lens. I don’t know how the talented Amaris managed to catch these moments amongst the 15 minutes of pure chaos that the shoot consisted of. To paint the scene: we were sweating, it was over 70 degrees, and Porter just really wanted to eat acorns and leaves off the ground. Regardless, they came out amazing and I’m so happy I got them done.
So here is to you my son! My first born, the one who made me a mama. I love you like crazy, even when you’re nuts, and I wouldn’t change one chapter in our story. You have taught me so much and I can’t wait to see you become a big brother.
Catching Up With Chelsea 